A Close Call!

The broken bone... or not?

We had a concern, was it fractured or sprained? In all of our 18 years of parenting, this experience had yet to cross our paths. Sure, we have had our fair share of bumps and bruises. Sure, we have had a child or two whom have had to be on the receiving end of a needle and sutures. The best was when one boy, at 18 months, decided to stick his finger in the sprocket of an exercise bicycle while his sister was peddling it. Our oldest even seemed to approach any church youth event as a challenge to come home with some type of injury. Now, even as a "legal" adult, that objective still remains. Up until this point, though, we had never waited upon the return of an x-ray and a doctor to interpret it.

The siblings involved (Joe is not that tall)

During this short stint of waiting, I began to ponder the result of my son's evening game of tag in the church parking lot with his junior high youth group, his tumble down the hill and his nonchalant, tough guy attitude that resulted. Well, that's one less hand for chores and complaints from others whom have to pick up the slack. I was already hearing the whining while the rest of the fam was enjoying our local pool, it is June in Arizona don't you know? Thank goodness we are on summer break, we have time for his writing hand to heal before schoolwork reoccurs. Oh man, and then there are the showers! Who is going to deal with that?

As I was contemplating the effects at home of a child in a cast, a small miracle materialized.  My ears weren't fooling me when they heard, "May I help you?" float effortlessly out of my middle girls lips as her older brother struggled with the dishes. "I'll tie your shoes for you!" said my youngest son who has an aversion to footwear with laces. These three, whom seem to battle continually, were willing to serve one another! I began looking forward to the possibility of "plaster" encompassing their brother's wrist. The revelation of the lesson that was on the cusp of understanding in my children's hearts, to serve and to be served graciously, excited me. The bliss I was about to experience as a mom enticed me!  

Then the much anticipated phone call rang through. What? A bad sprain? Ice it 20 minutes twice a day? Oh the whining and complaining that will be my life!!!

An Open Letter of Thankfulness to the Teachers Whom Have Touched Our Lives

1st Day of School

Here I am, the end of yet another school year.  I have done this thirteen times now and each year seems to become shorter the more I experience my children growing.  This year, though, is different.  It differs in a few ways. This year was the first that all six of my kids were sitting in a classroom funded by taxpayer dollars. We spanned kindergarten through senior in high school with quite a few grades in between. This year would be the last for Eric. Graduating in just a few days, he will be venturing into the university world in the fall. This year would be my last (I think) year in kindergarten and all of the firsts that encompass it. This year, would be the thirteenth and  final year spent at our little charter school that we have watched grow during our tenure. You see, next year, my final four children will be moving on to an education under a different roof.

Kindergarten here we come!

As I ponder the letter I need to write to our long time principal for the reasons we are making this change, my heart settles on the people who have altered not only my children's lives but the Hubster's and my lives also. How do I tell them how much they mean to me. I wanted to write a personal note to each and every one of them but, after the time we have spent under their roof, we are talking a lot of letters and not enough time to put my heart into each one. So, here I am, writing, what I hope will be received as a heart felt note filled with appreciation and memories.

To you, the teacher of my child,

I am sure you have heard this quote from me, "We believe that you are our partner in parenting." During the school year, it is you who has the attention of my child for the majority of their day. It is you who has the opportunity to mold my child in a way few do. It is you who revels in my child's success as well as laments in their failures. Over the years each of you has touched our family in your own unique way. That is why this letter is so painful to write. You see, this year will be the final year our family graces your hallways. I want you to know our departure has nothing to do with you nor the effort you have applied to my family. The years spent under your tutelage is priceless and greatly appreciated. No, the motivation for our departure has absolutely nothing to do with the love you have poured out upon my children.

Science Fair Projects are all about family

So, I want to say "thank you". Thank you for the many years of devotion to making parts of my family successful, thus strengthening the rest of it. Thank you for the long hours of questions without answers and answers without questions. Thank you for the hours of personal time you have dedicated to my child. Thank you for the noses wiped, tears dried and scrapes cleaned. Thank you for an ear that listens to not only my child but to me. I know I get excited about things and, at times, forget you have thirty little minions to keep an eye on. I don't think you know just how important your support is to me. Over the years, I have shed tears upon your shoulder and I thank you for your compassion.

Most of all, I want to thank you for the memories...

Sneetches, some with stars and some with none

The day I handed my crying first born over to you on his first day of kindergarten. Tears streamed down my face as the Hubster and I walked through the parking lot to our car, all along my little girl skipped singing, "Next year I get to go to school!" prompting more tears.

Teaming up with me to cure my little socialite of the need to chat during class.

Sticking with our family for 4 years, including summers, and still loving us.

Taking my 2 1/2 year old, strong willed, child number 5 and doing the potty training for me.

Our Graduate!

Allowing me to sit in class all day and make dinner menus for weeks to come, while my 13 year old swears I am staring at the back of his head.

Loving on my kindergartner even when she has hidden your cell phone in the tank behind the toilet.

Letting our very big family take over your classroom on "Book Night" and smiling all the way through.

"Encouraging" our picky eater to try everything on her lunch plate. (even if she cried)

Telling me of the time one of our most challenging children was doing classwork and began, quietly singing "The Rainbow Connection" while one by one his classmates joined in.

Enjoying my loud, boisterous, busy, boy who has no sense of personal space and still being steadfast in your sweet gentle nature.

Granting my young teen daughter the opportunity to assist in the "planning" of your wedding to keep her busy while her siblings were in Homework Club.

Embracing my most precious of children and brushing up on your American Sign Language to do so.

Student of the week shows off her bronze medal

There are so many more I could write about and so many more that I will remember later. Some moments will be spoken of at graduations and weddings. Some will simply bring a tear to my eye. One thing is for sure, without you, none of these precious gifts would be part of our family's history. With out you, our family would not be the same.

Please know that even though our time with you is drawing to an end, you will always, always be held dear to our hearts.

Me and one of your students

With much love and respect,

The mother of your student.

How do you measure success?

Amazingly, Awesome Travelers

Here I am, about two thirds of my way to our 12 hour destination, riding in the "Party Van" complete with 12 seat belts and hand crank window winders. The Hubster and I are accompanied by our four youngest as well as a trailer full of racing, rowing shells (boats). We hit the road at 3:30 this morning when it was so dark in my hometown that the stars were beaming.  As we belted the children in, it was difficult not to feel a little sorry for myself because the duration of time my head rested on my pillow was only about three hours.  Why so late to bed?  We had to finish packing after returning from the Academic Award ceremony at the biggles high school. There our oldest was decorated with tassels, sashes and cords because of his achievements throughout his four year tenure. The Hubster and I were rewarded by receiving a plaque as a result of our contributions. Don't be mistaken, this was not due to us providing our 200 student charter school with some financial windfall. No, it was because of the time we have spent, as a family making sure the school's rowing crew was operational. 

Sitting on the metal bleachers, my mind wandered as I wondered, "How do I measure success?"   Is it in the trophies and gifts on the wall from those whom are appreciative of our efforts?  Is it in the in the accolades of others whom look at our family and ponder "Just how do they do it?" Is it in a paycheck we receive (if you knew what we live off of the answer to that question would be obvious) or possessions we own, or people we know? As much as these things are all well and good, the Hubster and I base our success upon what we do with what God has given us.  Whether it is children, chores, change or championships our goal is to do our best with what the Lord has provided. 

Our best often consists of late nights comforting friends, confronting people on behalf of a child, spending time listening to the youth both inside and outside of our home encouraging them to rise to the occasion. It consists of wiping noses as well as bottoms, tying shoes and hair.  It means last minute schedule changes and unexpected visitors, driving friends home as well as dropping kids off. Whether it is cold dinners or hot, cold toes or hot foreheads, at any moment we are to be  shining as best as possible. What we don't realize while in the midst of the job entrusted to us, is others are watching. Our children's friends, coworkers and even strangers are able to observe our every move. It is then that our success shines for us. All too often it is our failures can make us look dim. It is then, though, that God, if we allow, takes the difficult and turns it into the glorious.

Now I have about an hour left of my journey and, once again, I have attempted to put forth my best. I have missed blogging so much these past few months but my Lord has given me the subjects of many future posts. I leave you, today, with one final thought.

"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come."

Proverbs 31:25

My Biggles getting set to row together for one last time!  (sniff, sniff)

Tailor Made

All of the AMAZING photos are by the Beautiful Brooke of Brooke Photography

I don't know about you but the most difficult parenting skill to learn for me is consistency.  I am not necessarily aiming to make everything fair or even for each child, nor do I always respond to an action with the same reaction.  What I do mean is consistently providing for each child what he or she needs at the time.  That could range from standing outside, in 32 degree weather, making sure those laps being run up and down the street are finished appropriately, to stopping cooking dinner for a family of eight, and  kneeling down to explain for the 20th time that she will be eating with in the hour, so a snack is not a wise choice right now.  Meeting a child where they are at and personalizing our parenting according to the specific situation and need is way easier said than done.

As I am sure you have figured out by now, the Hubster and I have had a wide array of parenting experiences.  We have children who would oppose correction with every fiber of their beings, children who quake in their shoes when a voice is raised slightly, and quite a variety in between.  Within our parental hearts and minds, being consistent is often confronted with guilt, impatience, as well as exhaustion.  Too often, I try to avoid the effort it takes to do the job right the first time, only to pay for it in the end.  (Ironically, I have had that talk with quite a few of my kiddos, some more recently and frequently than others) So far, five out of my six kids have brought me to tears because of my fatigue due to the repetition and tenaciousness of a situation with them.  The reluctance to follow through with consequences such as returning gifts or canceling birthday parties hinders many opportunities to train our children.   I can't count how many times I have witnessed an infraction that I "didn't have the time" to deal with, only to be presented, sooner than later, with another opportunity to follow through and sharpen my parenting skills.  This time though, I have to take on the previous groundwork my lack of effort had inadvertently laid.  Still, it is the Hubster's and my job to do what we signed up for, raise responsible, respectful, and reachable children.

Schulze Girls

So, how do we do it?  To be honest, I am not fully sure myself.  I do know we depend a lot upon God's wisdom, hoping we hear His Spirit speaking to our hearts. Our parenting consists a lot of fixing our mistakes and admitting we were misguided in our child rearing blunders.  Our kids learn about humility, how to handle mistakes as well as apologies.  Although, in certain situations, we need to stick to our guns no matter what.  At the tender age of five we could have sworn that our first born child was on the road to law school. We often could be found succumbing to his logic, only to shake ourselves and remind us and him just who the parent was.  Other children of ours are quite convincing with their untruths (OK, lies).  Our solution was to present the consequence to all six siblings in hopes the true offender would fess up.  One child in particular would stand her ground while her brothers and sisters joined her in the discipline du jour.  Although, Usually, the peer pressure helps the guilty party to cave. Occasionally, we have had to switch gears and confront our child with the blind faith that what our parental instincts were telling us was true.  

 Many times, the Hubster and I are not on the same exact page in a certain discipline matter, that is when we use the "fall back" method.  We usually move to neutral ground (our bedroom) and discuss our game plan.  After some agreeing and conceding has been accomplished we move forward in what ever plan has been generated.  We actually put this tactic into practice just a few hours ago.  I loved that we listened to one another, called the child into our headquarters, listened to him, dismissed him, constructed our plan, called said child to return, and laid the prospective program out for him.  No chaotic emotions at all.

One of my favorite tools is the "self created discipline".  One child, in particular had this "making things bigger thing" mastered.  For instance, trying to avert a massive breakdown, I instructed my son to go to his room, calm down, and then he could return to the rest of us.  As he STOMPED to his room he was easily heard shouting, "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED WITHOUT DINNER!"  To which I stated, "Hmmm, I hadn't thought of that. What a great idea!!! OK, when you are in your room put your jammies on.  You will be going to bed soon after."  Another of my children tried this tactic and realized, rather quickly, it wasn't for her.

Schulze Boys

The old, "Peanut butter sandwich and water" treatment works for three of our kids, but not for the other three.  I don't cook for people who are disrespectful to me so, someone else makes the necessary meal.  For half of my kids missing out on the regular meal is detrimental.  My oldest daughter would prefer that fare more often than not.  Her big brother is allergic, and her youngest sister could care less. 

Singing, hugs, hands on noses, foreheads on walls, holding hands, happy hats, sitting in on classes, random dancing, chores, writing, exercise, repetition, missing out, are all items we use to encourage our children to do the right thing.  

Preventative maintenance, though, tends to help all of the above be fewer and farther between.  Taking the time to listen to, snuggle with, and attend to my child minimizes his or her demand upon me and/or the Hubster.  Nightly dinners around our table are imperative.  We catch up on each other's days, reminisce, plan and bond.  Just by eating meals together we express how important our kids' thoughts and ideas are to us.  The kiddos' individuality blossoms around the table.  I don't know of a better place to get to know your family let alone anyone else.


With all of our strengths and weaknesses, successes and mistakes, similarities and differences, it just goes to show parenting is not a "one size fits all" venture. Good parenting needs to be "tailor made".

Thankfulness

Photo by the amazing Brooke Photography

Here we go, it's November and this Mom's hustling holiday season is in full swing.  Our annual family photo session (with Brooke Photography of course) was amongst a last minute trip to California for a visit with Grandma, my brother-in-law's surprise 50th, Emily's 16th (complete with the Winter Jam concert accompanied by some of her good friends), a school potluck x 4 classrooms (OK it was October 31st but close enough), haircuts x 8 (lovin' Ms. Hannah!), dentist visit x 2 (I missed and had to reschedule twice, thank you Dr. Bobby!) a Jr. High Thanksgiving potluck, various stays at the 7th grade, a last minute trip to Phoenix toting girls for a coxswain (the person that tells the rowers what to do and where to go) clinic, designing the 2013 Schulze Family Christmas card and having it printed (at Costco) before the coupon ran out that night.  With all of this busyness, I have not had nor taken the time to truly contemplate what I am thankful for. I have to admit the rebel in me tends to steer clear of the daily Facebook thing.  I do enjoy reading the gratitude of my friends and family though.

Our BIG Day 5.7.94

With Thanksgiving literally two days away, it is probably time to magnify that grateful mindset of mine.  I could come up with lists upon lists of who and what all I appreciate in my life but time is short and I have one specific item, event, condition that I am truly blessed by, my marriage.  You see, as I have noted in a previous post, the Hubster and I are on the verge of 20 years of matrimony.  It isn't, though, the longevity of our relationship that impresses me.  I can't say this "China Anniversary" even represents "the beautiful, elegant and delicate(ness) of our love for one another over the past 20 years."  Certainly the two decades have not been filled with bliss, quite the contrary has been the rule during some seasons of our union.

What I am thankful for is the road God walked us down, the mountains we traversed, the valleys we rested in.  I am thankful for the lessons taught and learned, the battles fought and won, the fears experienced and overcome.  I am thankful for the moments we yelled at each other and made it through.  I am thankful for the countless tears shed that did not drown us.  I am thankful for the discord, the dishonesty, and the disrespect we both took part in that never disrupted the commitment we have to one another. Have we liked each other constantly throughout our relationship? No. Have we known God had a purpose for each hardship we were to experience? Yes.  Are we better off having engaged the fire together?  Do I really have to answer this?  Yes and yes.  

(cropped from) Brooke Photography again!

Each trial has not only strengthened our marriage but has also laid a foundation for our children to build their future relationships upon.  They have witnessed their parents go through the ugly to get to the beautiful. They have seen us lean upon our Lord as well as praise Him when times are difficult.  They have experienced the results of a husband and wife clinging to promises made many years prior.  They know that trust can be regained and that love prevails.  

Fun times together.

During one low point I was told deep within my soul that if I gave up on the Hubster he would never be the man God has intended him to be and he would never accomplish the tasks God has for him.  Once I had truly done that, we were able to wade through his "stuff" as well as get some sort of control over it.  What initially took me by surprise was, with his "stuff" hemmed in, my "stuff" became more visible.  As uncomfortable as it was, I was able to see my faults and weaknesses.  Then, together, we were and have been able to grow through mistakes I have made. I thank my Lord that Kevin, the  Hubster, has never, not once, given up on me.  The rewards received due to a marriage forged by trials and strengthened by God are the best gifts ever!

We LOVE Brooke Photography

What have I learned?  Other than the Hubster will stick with me through thick and thin, I have learned that I don't need to be in control.  I have learned that I can trust his decisions, even if I think he is 100% wrong at the time.  I have learned that I am wrong more often than I have previously realized.  I have learned  I can follow his lead just as God desires me to.  I have learned the Hubster wants to listen to me and take my opinions into consideration. I have learned that the he will do anything in his power to protect his family.  I have learned that no matter how scary life seems to be, as long as we are with each other and focused on the Lord, we can endure anything.  

I encourage my readers, with a few exceptions, to not give up on the spouse God has given you.  Looking at our challenges from a worldly standpoint, we would have had a strong case to end our union. Thankfully, Kevin and I believe we have a responsibility to honor the vows we have taken. The words we recited ending in "Til death do us part." are not misleading.  They were not conditionally based.  They are a reminder that things will get tough and together we can endure anything that God allows into our lives.

A peek at our family photo session with, who else but Brooke Photography

Joe: What You See Is What You Get.

"My life is an open book." is a saying that pretty much applies in my case.  Not that the life I live is perfect in any way nor am I free and clear of embarrassing moments, much less poor decision making.  Accepting all of the beautiful and the ugly that I bring to this world helps me ou t of controlccept the situations that appear in my life. It also helps me to know my strengths and where I may need to lean on others a bit more.  The weaknesses are actually something I cherish, although sometimes reluctantly.  It is through those deficiencies that God often does His best work in me.  It is through my shortcomings that He tests my trust in Him.  Have you ever wondered, when met with a life changing moment, if you would rise to the call?  My children are used quite often to answer that question.  Each member of our family has a different chapter in my book that is ever changing and used to mature me emotionally as well as spiritually. 

The "Joe" chapter of our lives began rather abruptly.  While on his morning commute to work, and during his weekly phone call to the newest grandparent addition, the Hubster found out the baby had been born and was currently residing with the birth mom who was yet to be freed from her addiction.  Being foster parents, mandated reporters, and the adoptive parents of the baby's siblings, our hands were tied.  Legally, we had to make the call.  During our subsequent phone contact, I remember telling the Hubster, "We need to pray about this."  Although that was never accomplished together, I know our hearts were united with our Lord's as the day went on.

My job, going direct to the solution and contacting our recently relieved CPS case worker, skipping that toll free number all together.  As I relayed the current news, I found the words, "Keep us in mind." flowing effortlessly out of my mouth.  Her reply, "Are you sure?"  Our first meeting with this amazing social worker had occurred only eleven months prior.  Since that original contact she had been a key player in our recent adoption of Angel and Alize, which blessed her heart after knowing them for two and a half years.  For some reason, I don't think my affirmative answer surprised her much.

That is when the pacing in literal circles began.  While on the phone with a dear friend of mine I realized my most recent newborn was on her way to double digits that year.  "What do you need?" was heard over the receiver.  "Diapers?" was all I could think of as my mind continued to spin out of control.  As I remember, our day was up and down emotionally.  The Hubster was prepared to leave work as soon as the call would come in.  Which it did later in the afternoon and he soon came home.  We then needed to pick our older three from school.  Number four

had been hanging out with me all day as usual.  A crazy, exciting vibe was hovering around our family. Just thirteen months ago we had two kids and now, we were just about to receive number five.  

After a couple of false alarms and a drive-thru dinner we decided to keep our Wednesday schedule in tact. Once we had our minds set, we got the phone call.  Where would we like to meet and receive the five day old boy?  We were on our way to church, so why not there.  That was just where they would drop him off.  We like to say, Joe was delivered in the church parking lot.  We had a baby.  

Soon, in the church office, my sweet friend hauled in five Target bags filled with everything I would need.  As we emptied them, one item at a time, we were able to share this special moment with a couple other ladies.  Our impromptu shower was as sweet and as unexpected as the bundle I was blessed with just minutes prior.

Joe's inception into the Schulze family was an adventure.  His infancy was no less exciting.  Our newest member was quite vocal.  His song of choice was more like screaming, OK, it was screaming.  Our sweet baby would scream for anything and everything and not just a regular scream, it was a bone chilling, I understand why some people can't handle this, kind of scream.  Joe had been exposed to methamphetamine daily for at least the first five months of his pregnancy.  I am sure these screeches were the result of that cause.  

The next year we would bond as mother and son, spend time in courtrooms, with social workers, and at doctor's offices.  We would share visits with biological family as well as other adoptive families.  We would endure, spine tingling screams, sleepless nights, and the anxiety linked with adoption through the foster care system.  We would give this boy his first haircut at three months, watch him stand and then walk, and discover that sign language would minimize the shrieking greatly.  We would snuggle him, cuddle him, and fall in love with him.  After fifteen months in our care, Joe became a Schulze.

Now, as we grow closer to his seventh birthday I look at my son and see an articulate, charismatic, affectionate little guy.  I see an innate protective instinct that will assure the safety of many in his future.  I see his love for family, friends, and God.  I see his self confidence as well as his timidity.  I see a sparkle in his eye and a spring in his step when he is enjoying life.  I see deep pain and sorrow when things go astray. He feels intensely and loves profoundly.  This boy lives life to it's extreme.  

Because of his living life on the so-called edge, I wonder about his prospective future.  I wonder about the possibilities.  I know that whatever he encounters, he will take it head on, with his whole heart.  There is not much grey area with my fifth child.  He either does or he doesn't, he either is or he isn't, he either will or he won't.  With Joe, what you see is what you get.

Deterring Deviations

This past week I spent my mornings sitting in the back of my 7th grader's class.  I did not go there to embarrass him, contrary to what he thought my purpose was.  I did not go to make sure he was doing the right thing by policing him nor to investigate his friendships.  I went to observe him in his natural surroundings.  I knew my presence, though, made the common habits of a 13 year old boy difficult.  Still, I had my eyes searching for any type of academic engagement.  

My son is quite capable of a "B" average, straight "A's" if he pushes himself.  In his circle of peers, though, it is not the popular thing to raise your hand in class, whether to ask a question or to give an answer.  I guess the teens are concerned with looking too smart or too confused. As a result, some bad habits, accompanied with matching grades, have begun to emerge.  My job is to help my son overcome previous choices, but such a task can be daunting and trying to produce new habits in this kid is not easy.  Fortunately, I am a parent committed to grow responsible young people.  

 I actually had a pretty good time at school.  I sat in my designated chair, opened my tablet and then developed a system to keep track of his involvement.  Next, I diligently invested my time on Pinterest planning dinners for the next couple of weeks (complete with grocery list). Texting the hubster to keep him filled in on all of the hand raising, answering and asking of questions was of severe importance.  I then kept up on facebook, noting the new things I learned like what an "ellipsis" is.  I also did some blog planning but did not have much time to actually write. All I really needed, was my physical attendance in the back of the class. Who really cared what exactly I was doing.  My son would rarely look back to see if I was still there, it was easier to be in denial if he didn't actually see me. Needless to say, my child's teachers noticed an increase in academic activity as well as appropriate behavior.  

It has taken me a few years but I have finally realized, why must the discipline initiated for my child be a punishment for me?  I began to see the need for me to retain my sanity.  So I try to make the most of my child's corrections.  I could have sulked in that seat.  I could have documented the deviations.  Instead, I sought out positive conduct and made sure my needs were met also.

After three days, three hours each, I have been asked to "pop in" anytime I want a few times a week.  Kind of keeping my son on his toes, so-to-speak.  Hopefully we can assist this boy in forming new habits both educationally as well as socially.

Today, I popped in, unannounced, went back to my chair and updated my grocery list.  Just prior to leaving for his math class, my son was invited outside to take a spelling test he had missed.  In his absence, I too became absent.  I did wait to leave the school, as he would pass the parking lot on the way to math.  I wanted him to see my van and anticipate me joining the class at any moment.  Instead, I popped into my vehicle, drove to the grocery store, pulled up that grocery list, and shopped for those dinners.  

Oh yeah, I actually had time to write today too!

Perfecting Their Skills

All photos by Brooke Photography

Brothers and sisters, sisters and brothers, part of my challenge as a parent is helping them to understand each other, not an easy task.  Usually things get loud, whether it's voices, doors, or dishes.  My inspiration for this post is continuing on as I type.  Alize is learning to load a dishwasher and Angel is teaching her, that situation in itself could power a small combustion engine.  The clattering of cookware, the sounds of adversity, the sighs of discontent can be deafening, at the same time, they are almost music to my ears, almost.

This arrangement is multi-facetted.  First, I have grown tired of teaching Angel the correct way to load a dishwasher and hand wash dishes.  I know, why would I have someone teach who hasn't seemed to have learned?  Having a feeling my son knew more than he lead us to believe, I made him the educator.  Wouldn't you know it, all of a sudden, he knows everything there is to know about filling the dishwasher.  Alize makes sure to ask plenty of questions when trying something new. Telling his sister how to do the same thing over and over is providing this brother with a life lesson in patience and how to handle frustration.  It's not easy explaining a task to someone, let alone discovering them doing it their own way in spite of the training provided.  Hmmmm, something I experience quite often.  These two are full biological siblings who came to live with us at the same time.  One would think, this commonality would provide a bond that would be unspoken.  Not so, in fact the opposite is quite true.  It is a rare moment when this pair is in the same place, doing the same thing in a harmonious manner.  Which brings me to my final purpose, simply, getting along with one another.  Forcing this brother and sister to work together will, hopefully, encourage some type of mutual understanding and hopefully, trust.

As the din dies down between the middles, my biggles start in.  Emily has a math project she is working on and is, rightfully so, very proud of her endeavor.  Eric, a calculus student who loves the numbers, was adamant in his ideas, much to Emily's dismay. My persistent son's voice grew louder while Emily emphatically declined his assistance.  Fortunately, these two figured each other out years ago.  There's has been a partnership that, until recently, ran very smoothly.  You see, Eric likes to win and Emily is not comfortable with confrontation.  Eric likes the spot light and Emily prefers supporting roles.  Over a decade of their lives was spent with Emily seceding to her big brother in just about everything.  We had very few arguments because, there was no need.  The challenge now exists due to Emily's burgeoning independence.  Eric is beginning to acknowledge his younger sibling's right to be right, although it hasn't been very easy for him.

"The Littles," Joe and Jillie are in a similar situation.  Jillie adores her bigger little, as he does her. Looking across the couch at the two of them,  watching "Go Dog Go" be recited for the millionth time in our home, her head resting on his chest as he peruses the pages, is enough to make this mom well up with pride.  There are many times, though, that this eager first grader wants to lend his sister a helping hand when she swats it away and snaps back at him with a "NO".  Her autonomy gets in the way of his authority quite often.  Nevertheless, Joe sure does love being a big brother to his sweet sister.  Personally, I think he has been her favorite from day one.  After all, his was the first name she could say.  He is the one that will be at home with her the longest.  It's not coincidental that it is "a hug from Joe" that Jillie's teachers give as an incentive to help her make good choices through out her day.  Stickers, candy, stamps don't stand up to the allure of a quick cuddle from her brother.

We LOVE Brooke Photography

I love that my boys all have a younger sister to learn how to protect and take care of all while figuring out just how strong and independent they really can be.  I love that my girls all have a big brother to look up to and help mold them into the men God wants them to be.  At the same time the young ladies in my house get to allow my young men to practice emotions they will need some day as they all find wives.

My kids are perfecting their skills socially, the girls are learning how to deal with boys as the boys learn how to handle the girls.  Eventually, they will all use what they have been taught away from home, in college, their careers, their marriages, and their families.  My hope is that they will have prepared each other well.

A Note Sharing A Letter by Noah's Dad

The first time I held Jillian

I was one of the fortunate ones, my grief lasted but a moment.  My heart was won over by Trisomy 21 before Jillian was born.  I could not have imagined, thought of, wished for anyone different than our baby girl.  I don't know why but I was excited at the thought of my child being born with Down syndrome.  That response is not typical, at all.  When I look back at how enthusiastic I was, I am sure I took the medical community around me by surprise.  They were used the the devastation, they were used to the loss, they were used to emotions far different than the ones I was portraying. I didn't give them a chance to be sorry for us.  When I look back, I see nothing but my heart having been prepared by God.

With that said, I have recently read a wonderful letter posted on a wonderful blog, noahsdad.com.  The father of a child with Down syndrome having not been diagnosed until birth had experienced the typical emotions, not regretting his son for one minute.  Here is a taste of what his "Open Letter to Every OB/GYN On The Planet" says.

Dear OB/GYN,

I’m the father of a two year old boy named Noah who was born with Down syndrome, and whom we love very much. I understand that in the course of your day to day work you often have the difficult responsibility of telling parents news they never thought they would receive; that there’s a likely chance the little boy or girl in their mothers womb is going to be born with Down syndrome.

Why I’m Writing You This Letter

I invite you to click on the link above to continue to read what, Rick Smith, Noah's Dad has to say.  It is what I hope to tell future parents.  Look for the Possibilities not the Probabilities.

She is a "Smart Cookie" just like her shirt says!

My Biggest Cheerleader!

One of the greatest compliments I have ever received was, "Your kids feel comfortable in their own skin."  I mean, what more can a mom ask for than to have children confident with who they are?  When I say "confident" I in no way mean arrogant or selfish. No, I mean, OK with the life God has given them.

 In our family, my daughter, Emily, (the one that looks like me) embodies this the most, I think. The casual certainty in what is deemed important is woven throughout most areas in her life.  Just shy of 16 years old, Emily will tell you it is the trials she has been through that has helped her to avoid the typical teenage torrents.  I will tell you she arrived in this world with a rare mixture of quiet, independence.

As a little thing she often eyed people with a, "who are you and what are you doing in my world" kind of look.  Nap times did not consist of snuggling Mommy until you succumb to sleep.  Nope, it was, "I want my own bed period" kind of stuff.  Emily's prayers were solidly consistent.  In fact, I am sure both the Hubster and I could have recited it verbatim.  Breakfast, lunch, dinner, bedtime or just because, it was the same exact prayer every time.  

Every time but one.  I was listening to her expected prayer when, quite matter of fact, she interrupted her familiar supplication with, "and Jesus please be in my heart." No big deal just accepted the Messiah as her Lord and Savior, that's all.   She then continued on as usual.  But things weren't usual after that.  My opinionated, selective little five year old seemed to soften.  Sweetness was seen more often as well as other honorable personality traits.  I remember asking our Children's Pastor whether her request that night counted or not.  I was used to Eric, 19 months older and reminded of his sin daily.  He accepted the Savior every time his head hit his pillow, just to make sure.

Soon, at school as well as at church, Emily would be the child who would embrace the new kid and make them feel comfortable.  She began to feel for others and see things from differing aspects.  This new emotional self seemed to confuse her for awhile. I remember sitting in the movie theater with tears streaming down her cheeks as she watched Boo's door disappears through the chipper. In early elementary school, her two closest friends were heated rivals.  The girls would literally fight over who could sit with my daughter. During those moments she did not feel safe but, at the same time, didn't want to hurt any one's feelings.  Our solution was to have Emily ask the teacher choose a different friend to sit by.  Then there was the seven year old Tom Cruise look-a-like who was adamant at stealing a kiss from her, more than once, at school.  She was so little she didn't even understand the emotions she was experiencing.  I would often need to shore up my daughter's overactive empathy, giving her the tools she needed to get through her day.

Amazing pic of an Amazing girl by an Amazing Photographer 

Those tools would come in handy when she was no longer the youngest in the family.  Her first three little siblings would put her through the emotional wringer.  It didn't take long before she was able to strengthen herself and stand firm as their big sister. When we came to Eric and her with the news of a fourth, now biological, sibling, she cried.  Going from zero to three little brothers and sisters in about a year had taken it's toll.  "I don't want anymore siblings!" was her lament that night.  I explained to her that, when Eric was ten months old, I certainly wasn't looking to get pregnant.  I wouldn't have missed out on her for the world though.

 After that, she was my biggest cheerleader.  Now, she is Jillie's biggest fan also, as well as being a huge fan of the rest of her siblings and anyone else who falls into her circle. At any time a conversation with my oldest daughter you can tell that her family is extremely important to her. In fact, when given the opportunity to speak solely about herself, she almost always will fit in family also.

I love that God has taught her to "roll with the punches".  Life is too short to take it so seriously.  At the same time, it's too long to not do something about it.  Living a life with purpose as well as humor has been her strong point and will get her far.  

Ten years later, I say that prayer counted and is evident in the way she lives her life.  Is she perfect?  No, one look at her room and you can see that.  Does the "teenager" ever creep in?  Occasionally, but she doesn't stay for long.  Does the future make her nervous?  Most definitely, growing up has not been easy for my oldest daughter.  That alone is rare in today's society.  I have been content with her slow road to adulthood. In our fast paced world, taking your time to mature is a precious thing.  I'm glad she makes sure to have fun on the way.

Amazing pic of an Amazing girl by an Amazing Photographer 

What a day and it's only 9:30AM!

Gotta Love Brooke Photography!

It all began with waking up, as every morning does, this morning was no different.  The everyday thoughts were already brewing as I set my foot on the floor and lifted my hiney out of bed.  What to wear and hairstyle choice were already decided upon as I would be joining Eric's girlfriend for a "hike" after the kids were all dropped off.  I say "hike" because she was needing to tone it down for this late 40 something mom of six (I use the kids for an excuse a lot, it's hard to argue with.)  So, yoga pants, tank top and a baggy T, because no one wants to see this body in just yoga pants and a tank top.  Hair up into a pony tail, thankfully because it's time to touch up the silver strands again.  With my designated walking tennis shoes and socks in hand, I left my sanctuary.

Next stop was my Keurig and the K-cup drawer.  I dug around and found the coffee I like, (why I keep the rest of them is beyond me) pulled out my Tigger mug and internally mourned the fact that the handle has a hairline fracture that was more than likely caused by a disgruntled child with dishwasher duty.  Thinking I would finish off the creamer I chose, I began to pour.  I then realized the bottle would need to be returned to the fridge because draining it would wreak havoc on my much anticipated mug of satisfaction.

Now to the couch and my tablet and Bible app, ready to read a portion of today's One Year Through the Bible plan ( I think I started it in January 2012)  Anyways, I believe we finished up Job today.  Yay, I got tired of his know-it-all friends and what about that wife of his????  God is good!

All throughout my morning routine, my mind is circling around the tasks of the day. What would dinner consist of?  We have Jillie's IEP at school at 3:15 this afternoon.  I need to get Mrs. ....., the babysitter directions to the house when we drop the younger four with her at the other campus because we won't have time to meet her at home.  Pizza it is then, I won't have time to make anything decent before those who can, head off to church.  Oh yeah, I have to meet the Hubster at the high school at twoish to drop my van off so Eric and Emily have a way home after rowing practice. That reminds me, tomorrow is "Talk Like a Pirate Day", I need to make that pasta dish I promised for the crew's fundraiser at lunch time.  Thank the Lord for crock pots!  Today is church!  That means it's Wednesday and the middles have school picture day, thankfully with our favorite photographer, Brooke!  Good thing the littles have until Friday.  I have no idea what I want them to wear.  Oh well, the checking account is depleted until tomorrow.  We may not be able to buy the pics this year anyways.

The Hubster is finished making his lunch and heads down the hall to wake the troops.  I hear each door opened as well as his "Good morning (insert name here)!  It's time to get up."  I keep an eye on the baby monitor to make sure Jillie actually gets out of bed.  She does, whew, maybe we have a cheerful girl?  OK, maybe not.  We all piled on the BIG couch ready for prayer, announcements, to give and receive our morning hugs (most of us, Jillie is still moody) and it's off to get ready for our days.  Wait, Angel, wear something nice, it's picture day!  Allie you need to hurry because the dishwasher needs unloading! Joe, you get dressed quickly, no hanging out on your floor nakey.  OK, Jillie, time to go potty.  Yep, still cranky.

Thankfully, Emily loves getting Allie ready on days like this, one less thing on my plate.  Eric is wandering the house looking for something?  Keys, you can't find your keys to the car.  Great, he may need me to drop mine off.  One more thing to remember. Hug and kiss the Hubster good bye.  Band aids for Allie's shoes, sure, go get some.  Angel, help Allie with the dishes, she may take a while this morning.  Did everyone take care of the dog?  Ask Eric and Emily where your shorts are.  They are the ones responsible to wash, dry, fold and get clothes back to their prospective owners.

OK, my breakfast, into the blender goes a banana, spinach, strawberries, sweetener and a couple drops of wild orange essential oil, now wait for the berries to thaw a bit.  Sit to check emails.  Joe has figured out how to tie shoes this morning and offers to help me with mine.  Yay?!  OK, I let him.  He needs to feel big at times.  Did you remember the trash Angel?  Allie are you almost ready?  Ok, thanks for braiding her hair Emily.  My living room is looking like an laundry mat again.  Humph!!!  Because you all like apples, that's why I have a big 'ol box of them, and I hope to make applesauce soon.  Where is my coffee?  Time to add soy milk and make a smoothie.  Yum, so refreshing and vibrant during the morning drive.  Ten minutes until backpacks and van!!! Travel mug in the Keurig, open up the new creamer, I will finish the other later.

 Found your keys yet?  Nope, okay?  Who will help get shoes on Jillie?  Thanks Angel.  I know, sister, but I have to brush your hair every morning.  You will be OK.  Turn out the lights and close windows and blinds. BACKPACKS EVERYONE AND INTO THE VAN!!!

Grab my liquid breakfast, smoothie and coffee with a water chaser.  Don't forget the purse, phone, keys, sunglasses and headset (I get too distracted if I have to hold a phone)  Out the door I go.

Backing the van out, so thankful nothing got spilled, this morning.  Man!  188,000 miles, really? Oh well, God has the perfect one lined up.  It's Wednesday, Angel's day to pray. Amen.  Yes we can turn on the radio. Did someone grab Jillie's backpack???  Whew!  Remember, Mrs. .... will be picking you up today.  Quietish for a few miles.  As we pull into the biggles school, "Mom, my stomach hurts."  I think nothing of it, breakfast, thankfully, is provided at school, he must be hungry.  Pull into the high school, oh yeah, you need my keys for the back of the van.  That automatic door stopped working a long time ago, followed by the electric latch.  Everyone say bye to Eric and Emily!  Ok bye.  Off we go to school number two.

"Mom, I feel like I am going to throw up!"  Think quickly.  Hand him a Target bag with tissues to absorb stuff.  Think again, the bag may have holes, oh well.  Pull over, get out of the van, pour out my big smoothie cup with only a few sips missing from it.  Rinse it with the water chaser and hand it back to brother.  Call the Hubster to inform him of this new event and get moral support. No answer, bummer. Jillie, will you share toast with Joe?  Please, it will make his tummy feel better.  Thanks sweet girl for sharing.  How are you feeling mister?  Good.

Ok, Joe pray for Alize, Alize pray for Angel, Angel pray for Jillie, Jillie pray for Joe.  What?  Ok Angel will you pray for Joe?  Thanks. Whew 7:30, we are on time for breakfast!  Off to the third school.  Are you still felling good Joe?  Good.  Make sure you eat a cheese stick tomorrow morning before we leave.  Oh my, I can't go on a hike.  I need to be near my car, just in case.  Out of the van you two.  Darn, I accidentally dialed her, oops.

In the school, OK let's go hug Joe. Oooomph, group hug!!!  Have a good day Joe!  Oh yeah, this is what happened on the car ride in.  Call me if you need me.  I think he is just hungry.

Ok, Jillie's class.  Oh, bagel day.  Here she goes, digging into the cream cheese with her spork.  Some battles I choose not to fight.    What?  Her teacher isn't here today?  A family emergency?  No IEP today?  Ok.  Yes, I can drive this other student home today.  I will call the Hubster and therapists and tell them.    Potty?  Ok, let's go!  Hello, sorry I didn't mean to call you.  I am at the school with Jillie in the bathroom.  I will call you back in a few.  Ok, bye.  Hello, Joe thought he was going to throw up in the car.  I thought I would share it with you.  Ok, thanks, bye.  Wash your hands and out we go.  Back to breakfast, here goes the cream cheese again.  No, she's not playing "See food" she is trying to swallow.

Do you need extra help today?  Ok, if you need me, just call.

Back to the van, man just over a quarter of a tank left.  I hope it lasts.  Hi, I have to cancel our hike today. I have to be able to get back to school quickly.  I want to pay all of my attention to you but can't today.  Can we reschedule?  Let's plan on next Wednesday.  Ok, bye.

Hi Hunny!  No IEP today.  Yep you can stay at work.  Text the biggles and tell them you will pick them up.  The next available date is in October.  Jillie is getting what she needs for now.  We have to do what we have to do. I will text the various therapists to inform of the change. Wow, it's 8:15.

Back to the Angel and Allie's school.  Can you get a message to them that I will be picking them up.  Thanks.  Tell Mrs. ..... too.  Thanks again.

I need to rethink dinner!  Left overs it is!!!

I am hungry, time to go home.  Make breakfast number two.  What a day, and it's only 9:30AM!
I need to write this down.

---- typing ----

11:00 I need to head out to get Jillie. Get in the van, phone rings.
Hello, I have to call the Hubster.  Yes I'll text you back.
Hi Hunny, can you get that time off again?  We have an IEP to go to.

Yes, it has been a day and hasn't stopped since.