My Life as a Ninja Warrior part 1

We look "super" because of Brooke Photography!

Every morning I have a seemingly simple goal, to get my children out the door and on their way to school. In theory, there should be an effortless flow of events that achieve my daily objective. Yes, daily, wouldn't that mean that our tenacious troupe is in continuous training?  Our regular routine transpires six days a week. Sundays, the day of rest, is not immune to this rigorous workout. We wake up, come to the couch (we have a BIG one), Dad prays, we hug each other, then this team endeavor turns to individual events that must work in tandem to come together at the finish line. When they are all on their respective journeys, the closing of the front door is my big red buzzer declaring the completion of  my morning ambitions, during which I use every fragment of my faculties to reach. Sometimes I feel as if time will run out and the agony of defeat will envelop my morning when I must fetch my purse, load up the minivan, and transport my team to their individual destinations.

Brooke Photography

My co-coach, the Hubster, Kevin, strives along side of me utilizing the abilities of our apprentices while strengthening our squad. To do that, we need to be aware of each individual's talents, what they need to work on, as well as train for. Thirty minutes into the morning events he is off to bring home the proverbial bacon. (see that Honey, I wrote a post about bacon, your fave)

Brooke Photography

Brooke Photography

Eric: Our original obstacle, I have many years experience with. I know him so well that I should be able to achieve success blindfolded. Sometimes, though, in my overconfidence or his, this now smooth relationship finds an unexpected ripple that muscle memory is unable to overcome.

Emily: Being as she is away at college, she is the retro task in our marathon of mornings, a kind of novelty that has been studied for ages yet periodically makes a comeback and for a limited time only. She and I need to continue to train, for our encounters to remain effortless.

Brooke Photography

Angel: The potential, oh the potential! Seemingly capable of accomplishing the simplest of tasks but often forces me to find a more amiable route around the hurdle set in my path. I continue my rigorous training in hopes that one day we can achieve greatness shoulder to shoulder as a true team.

Brooke Photography

Allie: This mountain was a hard climb in an early, less experienced time. As we progress, together, we have begun to understand one another and often work together as the cogs in a fine-tuned mechanism. There are times, though, when she or I become a bit off kilter and the humming of our well-oiled machine turns to a hodgepodge of movement that hinders our desire to pull together.

Brooke Photography

Joe: Our speed force. Running, running, running through life trying to compete with the big dogs. Often, his leg of the race is handled smoothly and efficiently. His attention is focused on the task at hand. Occasionally, though, his youth and inexperience produce a cocky, overconfident attitude that eventually trips him up thus affecting the entirety of the team. I am positive that, with continual training, he will one day be the anchor to our relay race of life.

Brooke Photography

Jillian: This is our "slow and steady wins the race" teammate. She is consistent to a fault yet I admire her tenacity and sticktoitiveness. When she has her mind set on a task, she tries to take the time to do it right. The challenge is, getting her to set her mind on the task that achieves my parental goal. It is during her events that I am reminded to take my time and allow her to do what she needs to do. How will she get faster if she doesn't have the opportunity to practice?

Brooke Photography

Ben: The new guy, is our assistant coach, cheerleader, MVP, and biggest stumbling block all at the same time. He is a big man in a little body, confident in what he doesn't know. Call out an instruction and he will repeat it and make sure the person addressed heard the mandate. Tell Jillian she needs to get her socks on, he will run ahead and find a pair that matches. Ask him to run on water, he will attempt it many times over to prove he can. Remind him to brush his teeth and he becomes a gelatinous puddle on the ground yelling "NOOOOOO!!!!"

Brooke of Brooke Photography

Then there is me, the MOM. Using the ninja parenting skills I have obtained over the years guiding this group each morning to attain the supposedly, straightforward objective of getting ready for the day. While spending practically every ounce of energy I had accumulated throughout my nightly slumber.

These are the people God gave me to work with, daily. We enjoy each other, we annoy each other, and we LOVE each other. Together, we make sure that our life is... 

"Never Easy Always Good"

  

Come back soon to see what the first two hours of my morning routine and it's expected and unexpected acts that make it interesting.

Therapy Thursday: Mirror, mirror on the ????

Needs to be on her knees.

I don't know about yours, but my kids, don't always want to do as they are told.  I know, I know, my kids disobey me? As shocking as it sounds, at any time of the day you can probably find one of my brood of six relishing in rebellion.  Whether it is wake-up time, get-ready-for-school time, get-in-in-the-car time, homework time, chore time, meal time,  bed time, or any time in between, you can be sure a resistance is brewing. Therapy time is when our youngest, chromosomally gifted, girl will most definitely be displaying her defiance.  Finding ways to afford her some independence and yet still get the job done is one of the most imposing facets of my masterpiece called "parenting".

Just because Jillie has an overabundance in the DNA department doesn't mean she is lacking in intelligence. In fact, her sibling she seems to be following intellectually is her 18 year old brother who has been accepted to one of the sought after colleges to study aeronautical engineering. He was also a very independent thinker at her age.  Some days, making her do therapy is just a big, frustrating waste of time.  So, I need to be creative when her therapist "friends" come for a visit.

Now, for a while there, Jillie would not speak to her speech therapist. Her physical therapist was a different story though.  We often joked about combining the two. Before we had to result to that solution we discovered her reflection.  Actually, we discovered that she had discovered her reflection and would sign and speak to it whenever it was available. She found her image everywhere, mirrors, windows, refrigerators, bathtub faucets (as well as that little round piece right below), taillights and, even pizza cutters. So, I took her infatuation for her girlish good looks and applied it to her speech. Thus, I bought a full length mirror and mounted it upon the wall just above the baseboards. That way she could get some good tummy time also.  As she grew I raised the mirror.  When she was learning to stand, I raised the mirror. She loved that mirror so much we were able to take care of physical therapy at the same time.

Years have passed since she first detected her likeness, yet the attraction is still irresistable. As we were getting ready for bed in our hotel room this past weekend, she discovered the mirrored closet door.  After a few pirouettes, karate kicks, and funky dance moves we were able to finally turn out the lights and turn in for the night.

Singing and Signing away

Therapy Thursday: Day to Day Existence

One of the most intimidating things when parenting a child with special needs is therapy.  Whether, speech, physical, or occupational it is difficult to figure out quality time to devote to working on new tasks.  As a mom of six, finding consistent time to perfect the developmental skills that come naturally to most, is close to impossible.  

I remember the pint sized treadmill that camped out in our living room for months waiting for someone to hold Jillie above it so her feet would learn to walk.  Let me tell you, that was a bicep builder.  That exercise apparatus did not get used as much as it should have, partially because Jillie would just lift her feet and dangle in our extended arms. Mostly, it was because our time to devote to it was not abundant.  I realized, therapy needed to be tied into our day to day existence.  We needed to use the resources we had on hand, brothers and sisters.  We set them on the task of encouraging Jillie to walk, by them holding her hands while her feet were on the floor. Wouldn't you know it, she walked and still does.  One night she stood right up and took four or five steps, all at once.  Did she do it for me, nope, she walked between the Biggles, Eric and Emily.

I love Jillie's therapists!  They do an amazing job with her and encourage me weekly.  When we set goals for my daughter I look for ways to achieve our objective while making my job a little easier, if possible.  For speech therapy, for example, Jillie needed to strengthen her tongue and lips.  So, no more cutting up spaghetti noodles.  She would need to use her verbal muscles to work that pasta into her mouth.  I also would turn her string cheese into threads and feed her peanut butter sandwiches on soft white bread, anything to get those muscles working out.

Our big goals now have more to do with occupational therapy, more fine motor skills to help her be successful in kindergarten.  We have special pencils to aid in her grip.  I have apps to help her count and write numbers.  We play with play dough to strengthen her hand muscles.  Our latest OT tool is, Box Tops.  Yes, the ones for education. Who'd have thought the little money makers would benefit my daughter in a totally different way.  I set her up with a tray, paper, big glue stick and pre-cut Box Tops and she had a blast.  We practiced counting objects, each page needed 10.  She then had to glue the tiny rectangles in specific places on the paper, not just any random place, she needed to follow directions, which she did.  Paired with the fine motor skills she was strengthening, it was quite the task. After five pages, she was done, but we have plenty more to take up this project again.  Tomorrow, she will hand her endeavours over to her teacher so she can play the Box Tops game of the month.  I am pretty sure it has to something do with pumpkins.

A Note Sharing A Letter by Noah's Dad

The first time I held Jillian

I was one of the fortunate ones, my grief lasted but a moment.  My heart was won over by Trisomy 21 before Jillian was born.  I could not have imagined, thought of, wished for anyone different than our baby girl.  I don't know why but I was excited at the thought of my child being born with Down syndrome.  That response is not typical, at all.  When I look back at how enthusiastic I was, I am sure I took the medical community around me by surprise.  They were used the the devastation, they were used to the loss, they were used to emotions far different than the ones I was portraying. I didn't give them a chance to be sorry for us.  When I look back, I see nothing but my heart having been prepared by God.

With that said, I have recently read a wonderful letter posted on a wonderful blog, noahsdad.com.  The father of a child with Down syndrome having not been diagnosed until birth had experienced the typical emotions, not regretting his son for one minute.  Here is a taste of what his "Open Letter to Every OB/GYN On The Planet" says.

Dear OB/GYN,

I’m the father of a two year old boy named Noah who was born with Down syndrome, and whom we love very much. I understand that in the course of your day to day work you often have the difficult responsibility of telling parents news they never thought they would receive; that there’s a likely chance the little boy or girl in their mothers womb is going to be born with Down syndrome.

Why I’m Writing You This Letter

I invite you to click on the link above to continue to read what, Rick Smith, Noah's Dad has to say.  It is what I hope to tell future parents.  Look for the Possibilities not the Probabilities.

She is a "Smart Cookie" just like her shirt says!

We Had No Idea

Have you ever seen a photo from your past that makes you pause and think, "we had no idea what was about to happen in our lives"?  I mean, we thought we knew, but in reality we had no idea.  This is one of those photos.

Tonight, almost seven years later, this picture flashed across my screen saver and I realized, less than six weeks after it was taken we would have a newborn baby boy in our arms and eleven months after that we would confirm our pregnancy with child number six.  We had no idea.  In this photo, we were celebrating our new family, and taking our time to let everyone settle in.  Angel and Alize had not even been in our home for a full year when this moment had been captured.

This was an occasion we had not pictured a year prior.  Our venture into foster care did not involve permanency at all.  The four of us had prayed over this decision and were planning on loving children and crying when they left.  We had been happy with the family God had given us, but after two weeks as our first foster children, we offered Angel and Alize an opportunity to join our clan for life.  They said yes and that is when our adventure really began.

I mentioned the year prior because, that is when our endevor into foster care came to fruition.  After experiencing a situation at my children's school my heart was heavy.  Having unsuccessfully approached the Hubster twice before, I told him again of my desire to do foster care.  Surprisingly, "I think I could do that." was his answer.  With that possibility we began to seek God's approval in the matter.

Prayers had barely left our lips, it seems, when confirmation after confirmation began to appear in our lives.  After a week or so of commercials, TV shows, friends, family and strangers unknowingly reinforcing the thought, the Hubster and I brought the idea to Eric and Emily.  After all, they were the ones that would have to share their rooms, their toys, as well as their parents.  Without hesitation, they were all in.  I do recall the four of us continuing in prayer as the evidence of God's response was so overwhelming we felt anything but proceeding on that course would be against His will.

Accident Aftermath

One of our prayers consisted of the need for a larger vehicle than our current Dodge Stratus.  One week into that plea, I was in an accident, on a road adjacent to our church.  On that chilly morning a young woman and her friend proceeded to drive her lifted Tahoe right up my hood, stopping a dozen, more or less, inches from my windshield.  As scary as that sounds, I felt 100% safe during the altercation.  In fact my first thought was, "I wonder if this is how God is getting us a new car?"  I immediately called 911, the Hubster, and our pastor (who arrived with a latte from our coffee shop)  Sure enough, our seven passenger Town and Country was soon in our driveway.  

Moments of my son rushing to acknowledge our discipline techniques of the wooden spoon and a baby in my charge crawling into the dog crate and sitting, quite contently, in front of our licensing worker, would make me cringe and the social worker chuckle.  Instructors giving us the gory details of "the system" and the emotional baggage many children arrive with prepared us, somewhat.  Still, our prayers continued.  They continued but they evolved, no longer were we concerned with IF we were supposed to do foster care, instead we began to petition for the children and families we would be experiencing.  We would regularly ask our Lord to prepare our hearts as well as the hearts of those whose relationships we were about to encounter.  Little did we know, we were not the only ones praying about this.

A year of taking our time, filling out paperwork, sitting through classes, hosting social workers, having home inspections and living our seemingly busy lives brought us to December and our license for foster care being issued.  After two "false alarms" and a full week of illness lingering in the four of us at the same time, January arrived, and later in the month, so did Angel and Alize. By mid February we were destined to become a family of six.

 A few weeks past our decision to adopt, I was approached by my friend, the wife of one of our pastors.  She began to tell me of a high school classmate of hers whom, she felt, God had laid upon her heart to pray for.  Not having seen him in decades and not knowing his need, she was obedient to the conviction.  My friend told me she had been praying for a year when we received who would be our newest family members, the niece and nephew of her teenage comrade. Our life choice was confirmed yet again, this time with a big, ol' exclamation point.  "God has to have something big planned." I remember thinking.

Boy did He, and boy did He prepare all of the hearts involved.  He paved the way for us to "fall in love" with our children's biological family, which happens to be a pretty big name in some circles of our area.  He helped all of my children to have a third grandpa who would have dinner with us and come to our birthday parties.  Our pastor was able to play guitar and sing hymns with him in the hospital before he died.  My friend was assigned to be his nurse the night before he passed away.  We were able to deliver peace that only God can provide to a man whose family had gotten out from under him.

We practically adopted the young woman who carried three of my children to term yet would lose them due to addiction.  I was able to sit in a church office, our pastor answering her questions, wiping away her tears and praying with her for Jesus to be the Lord of her life.  I was there to help her choose an adoptive family for her newest baby as her old life was not completely discarded after her commitment.  I was there to coach her through the labor of her little girl she would be able to parent because her decisions had made positive strides. I was able to encourage her and stand firm when the options she chose pulled her right back into frightening habits as well as prison.  I have been there to pray for her heart to be touched and fully transformed into one she can be proud of.  I was there to write her after two years of our healing and show her what the repercussions were from turning away from the opportunities God had provided.  I was there, quite recently, to open a letter streaming with optimism about life both present as well as when she is free from her consequences.  I will be there to assist in her healthy journey or admonish her if she chooses otherwise.  I love that I represent the hope that only God can give to her.

Dedication and prayer following Joe's adoption.

In no way were we expecting the experiences nor the relationships we have had.  Our lives have truly been bustling since the moment the photo at the top was taken. Court, therapy, doctors, school, hospitals, more court, jail visits, made up a large portion of what felt like a roller coaster. We were standing in line, waiting for our seat while trying to predict the ride, only to find out it is much more scary, thrilling, and fullfilling than we had thought. Foster care has meant much more than loving on children and helping them heal.  We have loved on grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, bio-parents, lawyers, social workers, therepists and adoptive families. Our existence has been an open book for all to see, experience, and touch.  Healing is continually happening in our home but has become more about growing rather than escaping history. After holding on for our lives for seven years, our adventures have just begun to seem to level out.

We are now a family of eight that has a connection with our birth family only God could provide.   There is no way either the Hubster or I could have imagined such relationships.  We are truly thankful that our Lord, stirred the heart of an old, teenage friend and was thinking of us.

My Child Can Help Your Child Shine

Our friend, Ryan, loving Jillie in a way only he can.

One of my favorite things to do is read stories of teenagers who appear to have stepped out of their typical, self absorbed, roles, to do something that amazes and inspires the world around them. I especially love to hear about those who bless a peer who happens to have extra 21st chromosomes. The anecdotes of the team who allows a special needs player the chance to run the ball and the those opposing who help him to succeed with points to show for it; the student voted to be homecoming queen or king even though their social and academic abilities may not be as strong as others in the student body; the boy with Trisomy 21 who is accompanied to prom by the prettiest girl at the dance; the wrestler, chosen to compete with a young man with Down syndrome, that doesn't just lay down and let him win but makes the athlete work for his triumph, all bring tears to my eyes.

My daughter, Emily and Ryan off to her school dance.

Yes, my youngest has Down syndrome, and yes, I do have some uneasiness about her adolescence and that of those teenagers she will be exposed to.  My hope is that our society will have matured a lot since the years I spent in middle / high school.  My hope is these stories would inspire so many, at such a young age, and that bullying would be so rejected the children would resist such activity. My hope is, these stories would become the norm instead of the anomalies they currently are.

Our sweet friend Jack with our sweet girl Jillie

As inspirational as these videos can be, the stories are actually contained in the years prior to the event.  The character development either inspired in, taught to, or experienced by these young people could be the content of a novel.  A youth rarely just happens to do something edifying to others without first having some life experience to guide them in that direction.  The source of such growth could consist of an amazing grandparent with an amazing life story, or a teacher who pays close attention not only to the academics their student is involved in, but also the world the student lives in.  Character strength can be derived from experiences that we as adults don't even want to speak of, or the vesting of time into the service of others.  A parent who sees periods of strife as opportunities rather than restraints lays the groundwork for hope in their childrens' lives as well as the ability to inspire others.

What happens next could be the lead-in to a cover story.  What happens next is my child giving your child a moment to stand out from the crowd.  Unknowingly, Jillie will constantly provide those around her with opportunity to enhance their own attributes. She will learn, succeed, fail, love, laugh and live her life right beside them.  My hope is that her life will inspire others to look at their lives.  I not only look at my daughter as someone who is bursting with potential, but as someone who has the chance to share her radiance to help those around her shine.

Now is Jillie's Time

I LOVE this photo!  Every kindergarten year for every child, I have a photo very much like it.  The new schoolchild hand-in-hand with Daddy, approaching the building they would begin their academic career in.  To me it represents my husband leading my child to his or her first step towards independence.  

This particular photo, though carries a little more weight with it.  My baby is off to school.  The little girl who has surprised me day after day with her eagerness to learn will be learning from someone else.  I have to admit also, I have a tad bit of fear for the moment she encounters someone who does not appreciate just how special she is and chooses to tease her instead of protect her.  But, now is Jillie's time to stand up for herself.  Now is Jillie's time to show the world just what she is made of.  Now, is my time to step back, a little, and allow her adventure to continue, at times, without me.

After One Week of Kindergarten

A Summer to Remember

Written in a personal journal mid July 2013...

In two weeks we will be celebrating our final weekend before school starts up again. We don't have big plans for a party or anything like that. It won't be all about Mom getting her "free time" back after all of these years, even though Jillie is off to kindergarten. The excitement won't be about Eric's senior year and all that comes with it.

No, this celebration will be about the summer that we turned a corner as a family. Summer 2013 will be remembered as the season we first felt like a typical family. The weeks that were spent observing my children enjoy one another more than being frustrated with each other, I have loved. Watching the middles begin to step into the shoes of the biggles was a delight. Seeing my littles leave the baby/toddler zone and be able to play and carry on conversations with their siblings, blessed my heart. These things couldn't have happened at a more perfect time.
The reality is, though:

This year, Jillie does start kindergarten. We are excited about her typical class, in our school of 13 years now. She and her friend will be the first children with Down syndrome to attend Acorn Montessori Charter School and we didn't have to fight to get her in.   Maybe it had something to do with our lengthy relationship with our school. Maybe it's because they have fallen in love with our family.  Maybe it is just our good looks! (OK, probably not)  I know the staff told us they wanted her but I could sense a tad bit of apprehension.  The fact is the same people who have taught, cared for and loved my first five children are willing to take on the unknown abilities of our sixth.  I don't think my heart could be more blessed.

This year is Eric's last year.  Senior year and all it includes will soon envelop our lives.  The emotion I will experience at his graduation will, itself, gradually grow throughout the year, I am sure.  While the excitement and apprehension build, memories will be made.  I am so looking forward to seeing the man God has made out of the 5lb 7oz baby boy He gave us less than 18 years ago.

This year Emily will become the fourth driver in our family.  Let's just say, putting the lives of your children as well as the community-at-large into the hands of your teenager can be a little bit daunting.

This year, I become a home school mom and am actually excited about it.  The Lord orchestrated Angel's 6th grade year, knowing we would need some extra bonding time.  My only child I did not change the diapers of, my only child to not spend time alone at home with me, will be able to explore emotions and memories with his Mom as well as reading, writing and arithmetic.  Prayer, both mine and those whom it is laid upon their hearts, will be a key ingredient to make this time successful.

This year Allie does it again!  Encouraging Allie to do her best can be challenging.  The repetition of the fourth grade will be good for her.  Although her intelligence rivals that of her siblings, she has a magical way about her.  The innocence blossoming from a beginning that was not so naive is sweet to watch.  Even though life for her began in negativity, our girl looks for the best in people and situations. What more can a mom ask for?

This year, Joe will lose more teeth.  His grin, currently, is rather toothless.  This year he also gets to be a big brother at school.  He absolutely LOVES his little sister.  Spending moments with her in his day is becoming great incentive.

This year my hubster, Kevin and I will achieve the 20 year mark in our marriage.  I pray that we can tear ourselves away for some special time, just the two of us.  I know I will need it and I am sure he will too.