We Had No Idea

Have you ever seen a photo from your past that makes you pause and think, "we had no idea what was about to happen in our lives"?  I mean, we thought we knew, but in reality we had no idea.  This is one of those photos.

Tonight, almost seven years later, this picture flashed across my screen saver and I realized, less than six weeks after it was taken we would have a newborn baby boy in our arms and eleven months after that we would confirm our pregnancy with child number six.  We had no idea.  In this photo, we were celebrating our new family, and taking our time to let everyone settle in.  Angel and Alize had not even been in our home for a full year when this moment had been captured.

This was an occasion we had not pictured a year prior.  Our venture into foster care did not involve permanency at all.  The four of us had prayed over this decision and were planning on loving children and crying when they left.  We had been happy with the family God had given us, but after two weeks as our first foster children, we offered Angel and Alize an opportunity to join our clan for life.  They said yes and that is when our adventure really began.

I mentioned the year prior because, that is when our endevor into foster care came to fruition.  After experiencing a situation at my children's school my heart was heavy.  Having unsuccessfully approached the Hubster twice before, I told him again of my desire to do foster care.  Surprisingly, "I think I could do that." was his answer.  With that possibility we began to seek God's approval in the matter.

Prayers had barely left our lips, it seems, when confirmation after confirmation began to appear in our lives.  After a week or so of commercials, TV shows, friends, family and strangers unknowingly reinforcing the thought, the Hubster and I brought the idea to Eric and Emily.  After all, they were the ones that would have to share their rooms, their toys, as well as their parents.  Without hesitation, they were all in.  I do recall the four of us continuing in prayer as the evidence of God's response was so overwhelming we felt anything but proceeding on that course would be against His will.

Accident Aftermath

One of our prayers consisted of the need for a larger vehicle than our current Dodge Stratus.  One week into that plea, I was in an accident, on a road adjacent to our church.  On that chilly morning a young woman and her friend proceeded to drive her lifted Tahoe right up my hood, stopping a dozen, more or less, inches from my windshield.  As scary as that sounds, I felt 100% safe during the altercation.  In fact my first thought was, "I wonder if this is how God is getting us a new car?"  I immediately called 911, the Hubster, and our pastor (who arrived with a latte from our coffee shop)  Sure enough, our seven passenger Town and Country was soon in our driveway.  

Moments of my son rushing to acknowledge our discipline techniques of the wooden spoon and a baby in my charge crawling into the dog crate and sitting, quite contently, in front of our licensing worker, would make me cringe and the social worker chuckle.  Instructors giving us the gory details of "the system" and the emotional baggage many children arrive with prepared us, somewhat.  Still, our prayers continued.  They continued but they evolved, no longer were we concerned with IF we were supposed to do foster care, instead we began to petition for the children and families we would be experiencing.  We would regularly ask our Lord to prepare our hearts as well as the hearts of those whose relationships we were about to encounter.  Little did we know, we were not the only ones praying about this.

A year of taking our time, filling out paperwork, sitting through classes, hosting social workers, having home inspections and living our seemingly busy lives brought us to December and our license for foster care being issued.  After two "false alarms" and a full week of illness lingering in the four of us at the same time, January arrived, and later in the month, so did Angel and Alize. By mid February we were destined to become a family of six.

 A few weeks past our decision to adopt, I was approached by my friend, the wife of one of our pastors.  She began to tell me of a high school classmate of hers whom, she felt, God had laid upon her heart to pray for.  Not having seen him in decades and not knowing his need, she was obedient to the conviction.  My friend told me she had been praying for a year when we received who would be our newest family members, the niece and nephew of her teenage comrade. Our life choice was confirmed yet again, this time with a big, ol' exclamation point.  "God has to have something big planned." I remember thinking.

Boy did He, and boy did He prepare all of the hearts involved.  He paved the way for us to "fall in love" with our children's biological family, which happens to be a pretty big name in some circles of our area.  He helped all of my children to have a third grandpa who would have dinner with us and come to our birthday parties.  Our pastor was able to play guitar and sing hymns with him in the hospital before he died.  My friend was assigned to be his nurse the night before he passed away.  We were able to deliver peace that only God can provide to a man whose family had gotten out from under him.

We practically adopted the young woman who carried three of my children to term yet would lose them due to addiction.  I was able to sit in a church office, our pastor answering her questions, wiping away her tears and praying with her for Jesus to be the Lord of her life.  I was there to help her choose an adoptive family for her newest baby as her old life was not completely discarded after her commitment.  I was there to coach her through the labor of her little girl she would be able to parent because her decisions had made positive strides. I was able to encourage her and stand firm when the options she chose pulled her right back into frightening habits as well as prison.  I have been there to pray for her heart to be touched and fully transformed into one she can be proud of.  I was there to write her after two years of our healing and show her what the repercussions were from turning away from the opportunities God had provided.  I was there, quite recently, to open a letter streaming with optimism about life both present as well as when she is free from her consequences.  I will be there to assist in her healthy journey or admonish her if she chooses otherwise.  I love that I represent the hope that only God can give to her.

Dedication and prayer following Joe's adoption.

In no way were we expecting the experiences nor the relationships we have had.  Our lives have truly been bustling since the moment the photo at the top was taken. Court, therapy, doctors, school, hospitals, more court, jail visits, made up a large portion of what felt like a roller coaster. We were standing in line, waiting for our seat while trying to predict the ride, only to find out it is much more scary, thrilling, and fullfilling than we had thought. Foster care has meant much more than loving on children and helping them heal.  We have loved on grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, bio-parents, lawyers, social workers, therepists and adoptive families. Our existence has been an open book for all to see, experience, and touch.  Healing is continually happening in our home but has become more about growing rather than escaping history. After holding on for our lives for seven years, our adventures have just begun to seem to level out.

We are now a family of eight that has a connection with our birth family only God could provide.   There is no way either the Hubster or I could have imagined such relationships.  We are truly thankful that our Lord, stirred the heart of an old, teenage friend and was thinking of us.